A High School Hint

Often as budgets decrease, class sizes increase.  This is a critical problem for high school teachers who may be instructing 150-200 students a day.  And they are right to be concerned about the amount of time it takes to learn the individual academic needs of each teen.  All the more reason to make the kids part of the solution.

Here's a tip that worked well when I was  a GT coordinator:

1. Secure time during a back-to-school staff meeting to talk about the needs of gifted kids.
2. Acknowledge the difficulty of teaching so many students with diverse needs.
3. Recommend that part of the responsibility lies with the teens themselves.
4. Explain that "outlier" students often need encouragement to talk with teachers about their needs.
5. Hand out copies of Galbraith and Delisle's "10 Tips for Talking to Teachers" (printed on neon paper and laminated, if possible.)
6. Suggest that teachers hang the posters prominently in their rooms and, as part of their opening day class orientation, go over the steps and encourage all students to speak up for themselves . . . appropriately.

  
We never know what gates might be opened when students find their voices!

 

Ten Tips for Talking to Teachers

1. Make an appointment to meet and talk.  This shows the teacher that you're serious and you have some understanding of his or her busy schedule. Tell the teacher about how much time you'll need, be flexible, and don't be late. 
2. If you know other students who feel the way you do, consider approaching the teacher together.  There's strength in numbers.  If a teacher hears the same thing from four or five people, he or she is more likely to do something about it. 
3. Think through what you want to say before you go into your meeting with the teacher.  Write down your questions or concerns.  Make a list of the items you want to cover.  You may even want to copy your list for the teacher so both of you can consult it during your meeting.  (Or consider giving it to the teacher ahead of time.) 
4. Choose your words carefully.  Example:  Instead of saying, "I hate doing reports; they're boring and a waste of time," try, "Is there some other way I could satisfy this requirement?  Could I do a video instead?" Strike the word "boring" from your vocabulary. It's a word that's not helpful for teachers (and it might even make them mad.) 
5. Don't expect the teacher to do all of the work or propose all of the answers.  Be prepared to make suggestions, offer solutions, even recommend resources. The teacher will appreciate that you took the initiative.
6. Be diplomatic, tactful, and respectful.  Teachers have feelings, too.  And they're more likely to be responsive if you remember that the purpose of your meeting is conversation, not confrontation.
7. Focus on what you need, not on what you think the teacher is doing wrong.  The more the teacher learns about you, the more he or she will be able to help. The more defensive the teacher feels, the less he or she will want to help. 
8. Don't forget to listen.  Strange but true, many students need practice in this essential skill.  The purpose of your meeting isn't just to hear yourself talk. 
9. Bring your sense of humor.  Not necessarily the joke-telling sense of humor, but the one that lets you laugh at yourself and your own misunderstandings and mistakes. 
10. If your meeting isn't successful, get help from another adult.  "Successful" doesn't necessarily mean that you emerged victorious.  Even if the teacher denies your request, your meeting can still be judged successful.  If you had a real conversation - if you communicated openly, listened carefully, and respected each other's point of view - then congratulate yourself on a great meeting.  If the air crackled with tension, the meeting fell apart, and you felt disrespected (or acted disrespectful), then it's time to bring in another adult.  Suggestions:  a guidance counselor, the gifted program coordinator, or another teacher you know and trust who seems likely to support you and advocate for you.  Once you've found help, approach your teacher and try again.

Excerpted from The Gifted Kids Survival Guide: A Teen Handbook by Judy Galbraith, M.A., and Jim Delisle, Ph.D. © 1996.   Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN.

Repeat for emphasis. Repeat for emphasis.

Not only do we need to be intentional about teaching gifted kids to self-advocate we also must reinforce the skill throughout their remaining school years.    

Case in point?  Amelia.  She was one of those amazing kids who loved school, loved her friends, loved cross country, loved community service, loved creating works of art, loved Destination Imagination, and loved her teachers.  It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that her teachers loved her in return because of her energy, her positive attitude, her willingness to work hard.

And Amelia was always up for an intellectual challenge, including the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme, one of the most academically demanding high school programs. 

But half way through her first year of IB, Amelia walked into my office in tears.  “I can’t do this,” she said.  “I have too many mid-term deadlines during the same week.  I can’t do a good job on anything when everything takes so much time, so much thought and energy.” 

“Have you talked to your teachers about the deadlines?”  I asked.

“OMG!”  Amelia said.  “You’ve been telling us about self-advocacy since 6^th grade and now, for the first time, I need to do it!”

And guess who talked to each of her teachers, proposed alternative due dates, and did an extraordinary job on all of her IB assessments.

Actual self-advocacy is an ongoing process that students consciously or subconsciously must be comfortable using if and when they need it throughout their lives.   

A Parent's Role

What can parents do to help their children self-advocate?

• Work in partnership with your child and the school
• Talk with your child about the steps to self-advocacy
• Help your child develop attributes of good character that are expected of every student  (For instance, being bored is no excuse for doing poor work!)

• Work hard
• Listen with interest
• Work well in a group 
• Be accurate
• Be neat
• Complete assignments
• Enjoy school and learning
• Be alert
• Be considerate
• Be organized

• Set up an appointment with the school counselor for you and your child to view and discuss the student’s permanent record.  What does it say about his or her learner profile?
• Check out state and district graduation requirements.  What’s optional? 
• Discover what opportunities are already available in your district.
• Focus on your child’s individual wants and needs and match them to the options.
• Ultimately, allow your children to make their own informed choices.  
• Support their decisions.